I’ve never wanted to have a blog.
Why?
Well, I’ll tell ya.
Here are just some of the reasons:
1. There are millions of blogs already out there. No need
for another.
2. My life seems too ordinary to write about and my mind too
simple to inspire.
3. I could have eternal writer’s block after this first
post.
4. I could get hate mail.
5. I already have a big mouth, so will a blog just make it
bigger?
6. The blogs I love have these cool, “artsy” photos of their
life. These people can turn a McDonald’s burger into a frame-worthy picture!
Me? Not really the “artsy” kind, and the burger is in my belly before the
thought of a photo.
7. She’s a better writer than I am.
8. I could get hate mail.
9. No one will read it or like it (except for my mom).
10. I’m going to make theological, grammatical and
intellectual mistakes. A lot of them.
11. The joy of writing could turn into a chore or pressure I
put on myself.
12. And did I mention I could hate mail? J
Okay. There ya have it. Why I shouldn’t write this blog.
Wait a minute …
Hmmm…
As I look over my reasons for not having a blog I’m
realizing that I don’t have a reason at all.
That list of 12.
Those aren’t 12 reasons.
Those are 12 fears.
I fear others’ thoughts and judgments of me.
I fear inability and not measuring up to her or him.
And even deeper than those fears, there lies a pride.
Fearing the way I am perceived, fearing MY
inability or MY ability compared to others, is wrapped up in ME.
So if I don’t have a valid reason to not write this blog, I
think I will.
After all, what if God uses this blog to refine me?
What if He uses it to hack away at those ugly fears and chisel
away at my stinky pride?
I am asking God to take my list of 12 messy, fear-filled and
prideful thoughts and somehow use me in spite. He did it with 12 messy,
fear-filled and prideful guys 2,000 years ago. Maybe He’ll do it with me.
I feel dumb admitting I’m scared of this blogging thing.
But I promised myself that this blog would be a place of
honesty, a place where I can practice being authentic in a world where I’m so
good at pretending.
So this is it – the first post. It’s out there. (Gulp.)
A new year and a new blog.
This should be a fun adventure.
Happy 2014!
(What adventure do you
plan on taking in 2014? Please comment! I can’t wait to read them! Wow. I sound
desperate. New blogger jitters.)
